CEO to CFO (Chief Family Officer)

I got this quote in my google reader yesterday and it seemed apropos: 

“Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs in my field, since the payment is pure love.”

Mildred B. Vermont

This past week, after a month of agonizing debate, thought, and playing with the budget, I put in notice at my job. The word job is probably a misnomer, and putting in notice should probably be written more like "filed divorce papers." I had been with this organization for just over four and a half years and had seen it through planning, building, opening, nearly folding, and merging with a much larger organization. Much of the work I did there was at the cost of family time and mental/emotional energies. Being always on call took a big toll on both me and my relationship with Jason. The many times I told him I was leaving the office "in a second" left me a liar and him resentful. I went back to the office beginning 3 weeks post c-section after Nathan and have never REALLY forgiven myself for it.

I would come home stressed, angry, worried about the 25 or so families I was responsible for, etc. The commute was almost an hour each way (more if I had to go pick up Nathan). It just never ended. The only vacations I truly enjoyed were ones where we went on a cruise and I didn't have cell or email access. Yes, the money was great, but the "price" I paid was great as well. 

I give all the above information to say that despite my fears about being a "stay at home mom," fears about my budget, and fears of boredom, I will be spending the next 8 months without a "real job." I'll be pursuing consulting to a limited extent so that I can still feel productive, like I'm helping others, and make a bit of money on the side, but my primary job will be caring for my family. And here's the crazy thing: I'm reaping the benefits already! Not only do I feel 10 pounds lighter, but Jason has noticeably responded already (shhhh, this is a massive secret!)- He's actually holding my hand, being very affectionate, thoughtful, etc. The countless fights over his lack of affection towards me- evaporated. How ironic!

I still plan to attend nursing school in May, the beginning of a long term shift to family first (I/we had no intent of me staying home indefinitely, the timing just worked out because I had planned to leave my job for school anyways). So stay tuned for a different sort of blog, as I deal with new and different kinds of challenges! :)