Noah's birth story

I'd had the 6th of August picked as my "guess date" for Noah's arrival, with my other two guesses the 8th and the 16th. On the 6th, I got up in the morning and went to a prenatal/hatha yoga class, as I'd been feeling the urge to do yoga for some mental centering and also to maybe position him correctly. I accomplished both of these, as I left feeling refreshed and with him turned from an OP to what felt like an ROA position! I'd even felt him make the move during class and swing his back around.

Later that day we went to my in-laws' for my nephew's 8th birthday party. We had a great time swimming and relaxing, though I had this nagging fear of my water breaking in my father in law's pool and him never swimming again. I didn't have a single contraction all day. When we got home, during the late afternoon, Nathan and I both took naps. I woke up around 7:30 still feeling groggy, unrested, and just kind of blah. Jason took care of Nathan's needs and I relaxed. Eventually I headed to bed at about 10 p.m.

At midnight, I felt a tiny trickle and thought the baby kicked my bladder so I'd better go pee. Then- gush- whoa, my water broke! I said as much to Jason and he popped right up. Then, another gush, gush, gush. I started to tell him to bring me a waterproof pad, no, a towel, no, just come help me get to the bathroom. I was just a little thrown off! The funny thing was that the last thing I thought before I went to bed was that I should put down a waterproof pad just in case. I called my midwife and doula, and began to have mild contractions 7 minutes or so apart. Both Rhonda and Kaleen said to call them in the morning, or sooner if things picked up. I also called my mom and Jason called his parents. We decided to take Nathan and Jada over to my in-laws' before things got more intense, so we did that and got back home around 1:30.

When we got home, Jason went to sleep, but I couldn't lie down during the contractions so I went to the family room. The best way to deal with them was to sit on the footstool of my glider and then lean over an exercise ball propped on the coffee table, so I did that for most of the night. I called Kaleen and Rhonda around 7 and things were still pretty slow, as I was getting significant breaks between contractions. I was listening to my hypnobabies tracks the whole time and just listening to the visualizations and affirmations. I imagined blowing toward my stomach and blowing the contraction away, and it worked. I felt very encouraged. The original plan was for Rhonda to come over and labor with me, but the way timing turned out, Kaleen came over at 10 and stayed with me from then until the very end. She wanted to get me into a good pattern of labor, so we tried some mild herbs, pumping, and lots of position changes. They started getting closer together, too. She checked me and I was bummed to hear only 2 but mostly effaced. More position changes, including lots of reclining and abdominal lift and tucks- he had come so far out of OP that he was too far out to put the right pressure downwards in my pelvis!

At lunchtime, we sent Jason to Toojay's to get sandwiches, and I told Kaleen that this point had actually been part of my birth visualization plan :) I knew eating something heavy like that might be a mistake later, but it sounded SO good. We continued changing positions and even went for a very short very slow walk. By this point, I had to lean on Jason during a contraction, because I couldn't just stand through them. They were definitely more intense and I think by this point I was feeling them differently and vocalizing a little through them, especially saying "peace" and "open" over and over. I asked Kaleen if the contractions were going to stay this way for the rest of labor, and she said probably. I thought maybe I was farther along than I thought, though in the back of my mind I knew it probably was not a very big number. After coming back inside for a while, Kaleen suggested that I get in the shower for a little while. Well, I hated the feeling of the shower, so I got out pretty quickly. Jason suggested that we head to the hospital, and I told Kaleen that I wanted to but I was afraid that I would give in to the epidural right when we got there. She asked if I wanted her to check me first, and I said no because the number was going to be the same regardless and we intended to go to the hospital either way. So off we went. Time was pretty much in warp mode all day, but I think this was about 3 p.m.

Kaleen had called me in already, but we still had to wait in admitting for a few contractions and then in the lobby area of the L&D floor. I honestly didn't care too much, I was still listening to my ipod and vocalizing as I needed to. We got into a room, and Jason immediately looked and found that there was no tub. Kaleen cleared this up immediately and had me walk around the corner to a different vacant room. We filled the tub and guess what? First it was too hot, then when I finally did get in, I hated that too :( Boo. Sometime around this point my mom had arrived too. There was a cervical dilation picture on the wall and I told Jason to cover it up because I didn't want to see it. Everyone found that amusing. By this point I was not on top of anything. I was not in a state of awesome blissful self-hypnosis. I was not avoiding the word "pain" anymore. I, at this point, was begging for an epidural. Jason, amazingly and awesomely, was the first person to tell me no, contrary to last pregnancy when he encouraged me to get it even though I had wanted to go natural then. My mom and Kaleen both told me no way. Kaleen checked me and I was only at a 4! Nooooooo! How could it be this bad and this was only just barely active labor? I said that physically I could do it, but mentally there was no way. Kaleen said this was all the more reason to push through it, that it was just a mental challenge. Finally they (mom, Kaleen, Jason) suggested that I talk to anesthesia and do the consents so that everything would be ready if I DID go through with it, and I said okay. Every contraction after that, I would ask in between where the interview people were. By the time they arrived, I just wanted to go straight to the epidural. I verbalized that I understood I would be giving up mobility, but also that I needed a break and maybe the epidural would allow my body to work since I was fighting myself with every contraction. Also, I had been feeling "pushy," as I did in my first labor, even though we knew I wasn't dilated, so I could potentially swell or even injure my cervix by pushing against myself.

Getting the epidural was pretty much the easiest part of labor. It was a little more uncomfortable than I remember, but it's like having the end of a race in sight. I believe as I was getting it or right before that Jason took video of me saying yes, I changed my mind, I did want it, and also confirming that he did try to talk me out of it- for later exoneration if needed, I suppose. This was maybe around 6:45 or so. After I got the epidural, Kaleen checked me and I was progressing, the baby was even coming down some. She left to take a sleep break and round on some other patients, and I just hung out in bed, still visualizing "open, open, open" every time I had a contraction. The contractions continued slow and steady. When Kaleen came back, she put in a IUPC to better see the contractions. She checked me and I believe at this point I was 5-6! I was moving in the right direction and was now more dilated than I ever got in my last labor. Over the next hour or maybe two, the baby had a few decels that were not great signs, and also I was having a little more blood than usual, which made me nervous. We decided if there were any more decels and/or I didn't make any more progress in the near future, that we would call it. I said that I did NOT want to end up in an emergency c-section situation. After that, things stabilized, and then I started to feel really nauseous/refluxy. I had a small emesis bin, ready to throw up some cherry popsicles, but after about 20 minutes I threw up... My corned beef sandwich! It made a huge nasty mess. Yuck. But, after that I felt much better. At the next check, I believe I was 8-9. They kept asking me if I felt different or felt any pressure. I didn't think so. Mentally, I started to prepare for getting my VBAC even with an epidural. At my next check, around midnight, I had swelled down to a 7. His head was not molding, and the swelling was a sign that he wasn't going to fit into the pelvic inlet. We all felt a little wishy washy, but at the same time knew it was the right call. I actually think I felt more okay about it than Kaleen- she really wanted me to have my VBAC! I told her that what I really wanted was to be given a true chance to VBAC, and I felt like I'd gotten that. Further, Noah and I would have the physiological benefits of labor.

She called the surgeon (incidentally, her backup surgeon was away, so we got HIS backup, who neither of us had ever met) and we started prepping for the OR. Jason had planned to accompany this time, but at the last minute, changed his mind and opted to wait in the room while my mom went with me. They wheeled me into the OR, gave me an assortment of meds, draped me, and then brought my mom in. I was a little nervous during the surgery, because I felt like I was going to faint, and also because it sounded to me like I was bleeding too much. When they got the baby out, I didn't hear him crying, but I just stayed calm and waited. It turned out that his first Apgar was 5, and they had to suction/bag him to get him going, but once they did his second score was a solid 9. They brought him over to me, my mom took some pics, and then he went off to meet Jason in recovery while they finished up with me. I was pretty loopy in recovery, but I remember Kaleen working at getting him latched. Just then, they came over to heel stick him for glucose... He had failed his first test :( Rest of story to be continued in a different post (Jason's emails to family)...

Maternity leave day two: how goes it

I'm on "true" maternity leave for the first time in my life! With Nathan, I worked until past my due date (although several of those last days I worked from home due to the misery of PUPPP). I was on email and working from home the day after returning home from the hospital- I vividly remember dictating an email to my mom as I nursed Nathan :)

This time I decided to take a different approach- rather than keep working to get my mind off of waiting, I decided to take off beginning at 37 1/2 weeks so as to enjoy my last few days with Nathan alone, better get myself into the mindset of the work ahead, eliminate stress, and just generally take better care of myself. Yesterday was my first official day off of work, and it felt like a second Sunday. We went to Sea World for a short while in the morning to catch the Elmo show, then came home, relaxed, and after meeting with our doula, ran a few errands. I was lucky to have Jason's help yesterday, but most of the coming days will just be Nathan and me, as Jason is working full time now.

I'm having some seriously conflicted feelings about taking a maternity leave- I place a lot of self-worth on working, so now staying home for 12 weeks means I need to adjust to earning my keep in different ways. Sadly, domestic goddess is not on my resume, so it will take some effort on my part. I always expected Jason to carry the bulk of the workload, since he worked part time while I commuted extensively and worked 40+ hours per week, but now the tables have turned. I also need to work on frugality since I'll not be pulling a paycheck for a while.

Besides for keeping up the house, I need to work on activities and learning for Nathan. Another thing I'm not good at, crafty teacher stuff. I've been trying to find some websites with resources and also working on planning out activities while he is napping so I am ready to go when he is- usually when I decide to do a project, I scramble to get all the pieces together while he sits and waits.

Lastly, today was my midwife appointment. I brought Jason in case he had any last minute questions, but he was predictably reticent. Oh well. Good news is I am 1 cm and about 70% effaced, much better than 38 weeks when I was pregnant with Nathan! I am practicing hypnobabies daily and it involves a lot of visualization, and I really think it's working! I have it in my head that the baby (no name- Jason has now said he likes the name Noah after all, so we are undecided between Lincoln and Noah) will come within the next week, but we shall see. Overall all I'm feeling good, relaxed, not too itchy, and ready!

Monster Truck

For the past few months, Nathan has been peeing on the potty pretty consistently, even having dry diapers a lot of times (including overnights, which I think is pretty impressive for a little kid). However, getting him to poop on there has been a losing battle- months of trying have yielded nothing. Up until now, we promised him TWO m&ms if he pooped on the potty (he gets one for peeing), but thought maybe we needed to up the ante. So when Jason brought home a remote control monster truck that was on clearance at Costco, we made a snap decision to frame it as a potty reward. Would you believe that my kid pooped on the potty not FIVE MINUTES after this offer was made??? Of course then we had to scrounge around for the correct batteries, etc. Never in our dreams did we think he would "earn" his big present that quickly... Stupid parents...

Chiropractors

I have been visiting a chiropractor fairly regularly the last half of this pregnancy, in case the alignment of my pelvis/spine had anything to do with Nathan being asynclitic (crooked). However, I never REALLY bought into the whole thing. Well, on Wednesday night, I went to the gym. I did usual types of stuff. When I left, I felt fine, but by about an hour later I had a searing pain right where the two halves of the pelvis meet in the front (pubic symphysis) that caused me to more or less shuffle and really restricted my ability to lift my leg above a certain angle, including when trying to roll over in bed.

I went to the chiro yesterday and explained the pain, and she said if it was what she thought it was, she could fix it and I would be amazed. I tried to climb on the table and actually had to walk around to the other side because I couldn't even lift my left leg enough to get ONTO the table. She did about 1 minute of manipulation and had me get down. I. could. not. believe. it. I was instantly able to walk normally, and I could even climb right up onto the table from that first side! It's still sore, but I'm now a believer for sure.

A new phase

This morning, we had a new kind of experience... We have not been able to get Nathan to poop on the potty, but he will let us know he's about to go by telling us he's hiding or wants privacy. Then he'll go do his thing and let us know when he is done. At that point, we have the usual conversation about getting TWO m&ms if he goes on the potty next time (he knows this and usually will tell me that's what he'll do next time). Well, this morning he told me he was hiding in his bathroom- no problem. I sat down at the computer and he came up behind me "mommy, look, I went poo poo, see??" With his diaper in his hands. Wow. It could have been a lot messier, we really lucked out. I just told him very calmly that he needed to tell me BEFORE, and that we needed to go put a clean diaper on.

I thought (was hoping) that this was a fluke. But then...

He has been laying in bed not napping for the past hour, instead, he fashioned an imaginary "baby brother" out of his towel and has been talking to him ("we go to splash pad, but no go in alligator water, it'll bite you!") and rocking him. So cute!

Lately I have been telling him before bed that if he has to pee to call for me to come get him to take him to the potty. Well, I hear "mommy, I have to pee!" So I run in there, and he is laying there with his diaper in hand, telling me he peed in his diaper. Sigh. Almost there. Luckily, he really did pee in the diaper and then take it off, rather than the other way around!

Name and PUPPP

So, I think I am finally settled on the name Lincoln (Jason decided this was the name months ago, but it took a while to grow on me). I think part of it has been that I just have felt very surreal about the baby coming, but magically today I'm feeling ready for him to be here, ready for him to have a name, and ready to adapt to life with two kids.

For sure, part of it was that up until now I was sort of mourning the fact that this will be my last pregnancy and last baby, but this morning when I woke up I was feeling excited about the prospect of moving on to the next stage in life, having two kids who will be able to communicate and play with one another, and of course eventually go on cruises again :) It's all perspective- lasts give way to firsts!

In other more depressing news, at my midwife appointment yesterday I mentioned the awful rash I had last pregnancy, and that I was fearful that it would recur. Well, as soon as she took one look at my belly, she said "you have a rash, and it looks like PUPPP." Very matter of fact. My heart sank. Last time, my OB swore it wasn't PUPPP because I wasn't miserable enough. To that, I say bullshit. I didn't sleep, I could barely work, and my hands felt arthritic from all the scratching I did. I felt like a crazy person.

I had been a little itchy on my belly, but chalked it up to stretch marks. It turns out that I just can't see the southern hemisphere of my belly, so I didn't realize it was an actual rash. Sigh. I have already broken out the calamine lotion and purchased a special soap that makes my house smell like a forest fire. I am crossing my fingers and praying to every god that this rash doesn't spread like it did last time. I'm also now motivated than ever to get Lincoln to arrive soon, before I become a complete train wreck.

I'm in the home stretch at work, only 4 more work days left!!!

Special visitor

Last weekend we enjoyed a visit from my brother, "Uncle Jesse," who came down from Indiana for a few days. Nathan ADORES Jesse, see?

We had lots of fun- went to Toojay's to meet up with my aunt who was in town, Jesse read bedtime stories to Nathan, as you see above, and then the next morning we wrapped up the weekend with playtime in our new splash pool and then a trip to Whole Foods. The splash pool was a great find- $15 on sale at Target and it has a slide, a ball toss, a spraying palm tree, and a water curtain. Tomorrow when I fill it up again, I may get in and lounge around as well. Shhhhhh :)

We still have no definitive name for the baby, there is a frontrunner, but it just doesn't hit me that it's the PERFECT name, so we'll see.

The public at large continues to pile on the unwanted comments about how low I am, am I SURE there's just one baby, etc. I don't mind too much from people I know, but twice this week I've gone out (once to the gym/Publix and once to a work meeting) and have had no less than three random people each time make comments. Let me say this about that. Would you ever go up to an obese person and say "wow, you're FAT! You might keel over from a heart attack at any moment!" or to a little person "Boy you're short, I bet you need a ladder to carry around!" I don't think so. I can't control the way my body looks, sorry. And if you've already asked once if it's twins and I say no, there's really no earthly reason to say "are you SURE??"

Interestingly, although I am drawing a lot of stares, I'm getting more respect at the gym than most places. No one asks me if I need help setting up my bench, or looks at me with a worried expression. I'm thankful for that, and I'm thankful that I'm still able to go to the gym at all. It's definitely getting harder, and I'm not able to make it through an entire cardio class, but I figure a half hour a few times a week is better than nothing.

Final preparations are being made- hospital bags are mostly packed, baby's room is mostly done (my mom will disagree, but the basics are in place), and I'm in wrap-up mode at work (only two more weeks of work till I go on leave!!). I went back and re-read my blog from when I was pregnant with Nathan, and am watching carefully for warning signs of that horrible rash I had last time. I'm just crossing my fingers on that one. I've also been pretty good about practicing hypnobabies, though I am not entirely sure it's working.

I'm hoping to not quite make it to my due date this time, with my two guesses being 8/2 or 8/6. Next Thursday is my first midwife appt. in a few weeks and I believe she will check me. Then we're basically in watch and wait mode!