Tomorrow starts our first Kindermusik class (Nathan and I, Noah will attend but only as a bystander, obviously). I wanted to try and do some fun, structured, and social stuff while I'm home so that we can get out of the house and Nathan can still get some stimulation. I'm trying hard to put everything on the calendar and make sure I have a to-do list to check off each day so that I don't get bored, and projects in the "bull pen" so that Nathan doesn't get bored either.
Recovery from surgery continues to be a slow road, much more so than after I had Nathan, for whatever reason. I don't think I could handle another c-section, honestly (nor do I think I could handle three kids, for that matter!). Which brings me to the latest internal struggle. Jason has said he's definitely done at two kids, and I think for the most part I am too, I'm just having trouble coming to terms with being done having children. As much of a feminist and career woman as I am, I apparently have a lot of my identity tied up in one organ of my body, and it makes me sad to think of being done having children. Even though this last pregnancy was a little tough, and the recovery even tougher. Even though in order to give our kids everything we want to financially, we should stop at two. Even though I'm ready to move on to the next phase in life- kids growing older and becoming more independent, etc.
I've always thought the whole thing was kind of weird. You spend most of your adult life trying not to get pregnant. Then, you do a 180 and do nothing but try to get pregnant. After you have your first child, you enter the no-man's land of how far apart to space kids, how many do you want, how old your eggs are, and so on. Now, after the second child, it looks as though we're entering some new phase where we're just waiting for the kids to get older, looking towards school and no more diapers. I guess it makes me feel sort of middle-aged. Boo for that.
I'm trying to enjoy every moment and take in the newborn-ness, knowing it'll probably be the last. I'm getting rid of all my maternity clothes and baby clothes as Noah grows out of them, which is helping me make the adjustment to this mode mentally (it doesn't hurt that our house has limited storage, so I'm looking forward to having more room for other stuff).
Noah is doing well, we had him at the doctor yesterday and he is already up to 9 lbs. 9 oz., up from 8 lbs. 13 oz. just a week ago. He's more and more alert each day, and has fallen into a fairly predictable eat/sleep/poop pattern. He continues to be my mellow child, barely any crying, calms as soon as his needs are met, etc. Pics will be up on FB tomorrow!
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